Pieces
by AlinaLotus
Summary: When Bella takes an extreme step to bring Edward back into her life, she realizes just which Cullen it is she needs most.


**Oddly, this is the product of a dream I had. **

**This WILL be Alice/Bella. Promise. Also, this is my first attempt at Bellice, so please, any feedback/concrit is welcome and loved. Obviously, warnings are fslash. **

She knows that Alice will see what she's doing, and being the kind of sister Alice is, she'll tell Edward. And Edward won't let her hurt _this _way, will he? She really doesn't know. But she can't believe that after everything they've been through, he can just wash his hands of her, Bella.

If there is one thing she has going for her, it's Edward's ability (she knows it's really a fault, but right now it's her saving grace) to feel guilty for anything bad that might happen to her, or anybody around him.

Besides, she's actually looking forward to it. The week after he'd abandoned her, after he'd shattered and maimed her and left her ripped at the very seams of her existence, the burning began. She'd never felt it before, and it wasn't an all together unpleasant feeling, so she had learned to simply live with it.

Then the nightmares, the real ones, began. Edward not just leaving her, not just turning the proverbial knife in her back, but Edward, her beloved, dead, dying, hurting, and impossibly, bleeding. And there was more, Jasper and Emmett and Esme and Alice, all dead, all decaying.

The burning increased, but she didn't know how to deal with it, to make it go away, or if she even _wanted_ it to go away. It was proof that she could still feel, that she wasn't just the mindless zombie walking around her house and her job and the halls at Forks High. It was a promise that yeah, her heart would never be whole again, and she'd never be happy, but at least she was still _human_.

But then, of course, that's why she was in this mess in the first place. That's why her soul was splintered in half, why the truest of true loves had disappeared and left her nothing but whirling nightmares and jagged pieces of what should have been a full- functioning and thriving life.

Her mortality.

With Edward's departing words, it was easy to see now that he hadn't changed her, and wouldn't change her, because he simply didn't want her, not anymore, and certainly not forever.

Well, that was fine, she could handle it. Maybe. _Fuck it, _she thinks, shrugging her long hair out of her face as she makes her way up the front steps of Charlie's house, _I'm dying faster each day_. It was true. Since Edward had left, she'd lost at least ten pounds, her skin had become, if it were possible, paler, and she managed to get a whopping two hours of sleep about every other night. Starvation, sleep deprivation, maybe Rickets.

Whatever. She was dying, or getting closer to it, every minute. So, it was time to actually do something about it, instead of staring at the ceiling all damned night, instead of glaring at the world with bitter and sharp and cold eyes.

It was time to bring Edward Cullen back into her life.

---

She isn't much of a masochist, but then again, nothing could hurt worse than Edward and the rest of the Cullens leaving her in a ball of misery on the wet, mossy floor of the forest. But she can't rush it, she knows, or Alice may not see what is going to happen.

She waits for a day when Charlie is with Billy Black, fishing, and then plans on staying to watch the ball game at La Push. It's not that she's afraid Charlie will find out what she's doing, he's always given her her privacy, something she's grateful for. If it'd been her mother here in Forks, she knows she'd be under lock down and constant supervision. But it isn't like that with her dad, and she loves him even more for it.

She starts by taking a bath, because she needs to be relaxed. If she's too tense it will be rushed, sloppy, and it must be precise, if it's going to work. Because it will work, and she's actually confident of that. She knows Edward better than anybody, except his family, and knows what he will do.

The water is hot, almost scalding, and it turns her skin bright red. But she sinks farther down into the tub, until the soapy water touches her chin, and takes a deep breath, submerging herself. Under the water it is quiet, deathly quiet, and so still. She revels in this, because she doesn't have to focus on anything. She's never thought that the slightly discolored tub could be a place of solace, even though she won't be needing it much longer, but she thinks _better late than never_ and comes up for air when she starts to feel dizzy from lack of oxygen.

She gets out, clean and slightly refreshed, and dries herself off without bothering to glance down. Her body does not interest her. It doesn't seem real, anyway, without Edward's touches sending electric signals down her spinal cord, without the coldness of his skin against hers.

She dresses in a pair of new pyjamas that her mother and Phil sent for her birthday months ago. They are flannel and white with blue pinstripes, but the stripes are thin and small and she knows that the white will stain easily. It will make a pretty picture, in Alice's vision, and then when Edward sees it he'll come rushingrushingrushing to her door, and she'll tell him that if he doesn't stay here, stay with her, that she'll stain every thing, her clothes, her skin, the floor, the walls, her sheets, until she dies. Because of course she'd rather die than be without him, and if he won't be with her, well, that's easily solved.

In that scenario, she knows she can convince Alice to change her. Alice has always seen that future for her, and why shouldn't it come true? Then Edward won't be able to escape her, no matter how far or how long he runs.

She sits cross-legged, and reaches into her cosmetic bag that's sitting precariously on the edge of the counter. It's bright pink and the false cheeriness of the color makes her sick, makes her want to hurl the fucking thing out of the window, but she simply pulls out a rectangular razor blade, the kind used to scrape stickers off of glass or metal, the kind found in hardware stores. It is sharp and has a delicious glint to it, from the low-wattage bulbs above the mirror, and Bella wishes she'd have thought to bring a chair from the kitchen table up, so she could watch herself, but maybe it's better that she can't see her face and eyes during this. Maybe she'd lose her nerve.

She's a coward, you see, that's evident by the fact that she's still alive. If she had any sense or bravery at all, she'd have taken her life the evening Sam found her in the forest.

But enough about that. That's the past, and though the past is the reason the present is the way it is, there's no use dwelling on it, because it's only the future that interests her. The future that Alice has, by now, seen, or at least gotten a glimpse of, and her actions are of the utmost importance.

It really is her life hanging on the threadbare line, and if that's not important, than what is? Well, she shouldn't say _her _life, exactly, but her life with or without Edward.

She lifts the razor, looking at it, memorizing it, and then shrugs back the left sleeve of her too-loose pyjama top. Her hands are sweaty, and she is nervous. Of course she's nervous, who wouldn't be? But under that, or perhaps over it or because of it, she feels like she's standing on the edge of a precipice, but once she takes the jump, the plunge, there will be freedom.

Her eyes are shut when it happens, when suddenly there's a pale arm and falling plaster. Bella smiles. It's worked, and Edward's here, and he will take her back and it will all be better and---she sniffs, and stiffens as the scent of fresh oranges and clean cedar washes over her.

"Al...Alice?" She whispers in awe, opening her eyes, and Alice is there, so lovely and so perfect, but her golden eyes are wide in horror.

"Bella," Alice caresses her name, and pulls her from the wall, enveloping her in a gentle embrace. "Bella." She repeats, using the same reverent tone.

Bella's head is swimming, her body is electric, alive. She can feel her lungs expanding, she is breathing easier than she has for months now. It's almost as if...as if she is whole, or getting that way, as if the bleeding of her heart is clotting. "What are you doing here?" Bella says, because she's confused and doesn't know what else to say. It should be Edward making her feel these things, not his sister.

"I saw you...I saw you kill yourself, Bella. I saw you bleed to death." Alice's voice was controlled hysteria as she said this.

Bella looks from Alice's face to the razor, which now lay on the floor, back to Alice again. "But...I wasn't going to do that. I just...I just wanted to...to scare...him. Wait a second, Alice, where's Edward? And Jasper?"

Alice sighs, striding over to sit on the edge of the bath tub, pulling Bella beside her. "They're...not here."

"Obviously. What's wrong, Alice? Where are they?"

"Edward...and Jasper...they decided to leave. I've been seeing them in the South."

"Hold up, Jasper left _you_? But why would he do that? He loves you!"

Alice laughs, a harsh and bitter sound that bites through Bella like a cold wind. "Anyway," she says, lifting her hand to Bella's cheek, "I came here to stop you. I can't bear to lose you, Bella. Not again."

It was hypnotizing, to have Alice's cool fingers against her skin, which suddenly feels too hot and too strange, and have the liquid gold eyes boring into her own.

"What did you see?" Bella asks, to buy herself some more time. She can feel her heart beating now, she is aware of herself, of her muscles that are stiff from disuse, of her mind, which is full now of Alice, of her smell and of the way she feels and Bella is now feeling something she thought long lost, she is desiring Alice, not lusting exactly, but needing her.

She thought she would need Edward to feel like this, to become whole...but Alice is here, and how could she have noticed just how perfect Alice really is?

Alice shakes her head. "I don't want to talk about that. Tell me Bella, tell me what is it your thinking? Your heart is flying."

"You. I'm thinking about you." She has no reason to lie, and now that she's discovered that really, hasn't she always loved Alice? With Edward at hand it was always so easy to form those feelings into sisterly emotions, but now...well, Bella is on fire and thirsty and she knows that Alice is the one who is going to quench her.

Alice sighs. "I didn't mean for this to happen, but...I won't pretend that I didn't want it to. I saw this," Alice easily lifts Bella onto her lap, and their faces are merely centimeters away now, and Bella can smell Alice's breath, and her core throbs as she realizes that Alice smells more wonderful than Edward, and Bella knows Alice is going to kiss her. Their lips meet, and Bella goes limp in Alice's arms, their mouths moving furiously against each other.

Alice pivots Bella so she's straddling her, and Bella knows that _this _is what a kiss is supposed to be like. When she used to kiss Edward it was like making out with a brick wall, but Alice is passionate, Alice is fervent and wanting this, too.

Alice pulls away after a moment, allowing Bella to breathe. "_That's_ what I saw. Oh Bella, can you forgive me for being so blind? For not coming sooner? For not telling you how I really have felt?"

"This whole time that you all have been away, been gone, I thought I needed Edward to get my life back...but it was you, the whole time, wasn't it? It was you I have always needed. Can _you_ ever forgive _me_?"

Alice smiles and stands up, lifting Bella into her arms. "I'd say that we are about even then, wouldn't you?"

_I'm here again  
A thousand miles away from you  
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am  
I tried so hard  
Thought I could do this on my own  
I've lost so much along the way_

_Then I'll see your face  
I know I'm finally yours  
I find everything I thought I lost before  
You call my name  
I come to you in pieces  
So you can make me whole_

_I've come undone  
But you make sense of who I am  
Like puzzle pieces in your eye_

_Then I'll see your face  
I know I'm finally yours  
I find everything I thought I lost before  
You call my name  
I come to you in pieces  
So you can make me whole_

**Well, what do you think? It might be a bit rushed, but then, that's really how I see it happening. Song used is Pieces by RED. It is seriously an amazing Bellice song. **


End file.
